Can't scriptwriters do a little research?

I find it annoying when scriptwriters don't bother to check out basic facts. It is one thing to take license with historical facts for the sake of a story, but it is quite another when they make absurd errors.

Normally I wouldn't comment on such things but recently I had two different television shows running while working on the computer. And both of them made silly errors.

Both are shows that I enjoy quite a bit, which is doubly disappointing. In "Mr. Monk and the Marathon Man" a woman is murdered but the prime suspect was in a marathon race at the time of the death and his computer chip proves he passed one check-point after another. One of the other runners is a supposed famed marathon runner of the past named Tonday, from Africa. Tonday uses the word "amandla" with Monk. Monk is then told this means "courage." But amandla does NOT mean courage, it means "power," which is quite different.

In a rerun of Bones, "The Man in the Fallout Shelter" a body from the 1950s is discovered in a fallout shelter. Zack cuts into the bones and it releases spores into the air which set off the bio-hazard alarm. Because Zack and Hodges were exposed to the spores, and the rest of the team were exposed to Zack and Hodges, they are all quarantined together over Christmas. And, while there is much to say for this episode there is a huge flaw in the story.

The fungus to which Hodges and Zack were exposed is Coccidioides immitis, a fungus that causes Valley Fever. One might ask how a man in a Washington, DC fallout shelter had been exposed to Valley Fever, given that it is a fungus endemic in the American South West and not the DC area. As the show goes along it becomes clear that the victim was from Oklahoma. But Oklahoma tends not to be a location for the fungus.

But that is relatively small in importance. We can pretend he was exposed someplace else. The major problem is that Valley Fever is NOT contagious. No one would be put into quarantine because of exposure to the fungus.

That's a good thing too since it is generally assumed that about half of all people in places like California, Arizona and other nearby states have been exposed to the fungus.

At one point of the episode Dr. Brennan sneezes and her FBI partner, Seeley Booth and Brennan both get horrified looks on their faces. Sneezing is not one of the symptoms of Valley Fever.

These are small things, but to quote a proverb, "the little foxes spoil the vine."

It wasn't a White Christmas.

I've long been a fan of Betty White. I've enjoyed her roles on television series and even her role in The Proposal, alongside Sandra Bullock, Ryan Reynolds, Mary Steenburgen and Craig T. Nelson.

So, of course, I did something I had not done in decades—I turned on Saturday Night Live because she was guest hosting. You will remember that some fans started a Facebook page to encourage the television show to give White a spot as host. Over 500,000 people joined the page.

The show gave White the spot. But they seemed quite reluctant to do so. I wondered why. But watching the show last night I immediately knew why. The writers of the show were clueless when it came to White. The material they wrote was crap.

I missed the first couple of minutes but tuned in for White's monologue which was a series of "see-I'm-old" jokes. There is nothing wrong with such jokes but a whole string of them can be tedious. And these were tedious. But I stayed tuned.

Next there came a string of skits based on SNL's "McGruber" character. One such skit might have some amusement but repeating the same joke over and over, with slightly different circumstances is not amusing. It shows a lack of imagination on the part of the writers. But I stay tuned.

Then we got a skit where the same punchline, "She's a lesbian" was repeated over and over by White. Once again the writers came up with one thing and then milked it until the cow was dry. But I stay tuned.

Then we had an endless skit relying on White talking about muffins, where the audience is supposed to think vagina. It too went on far longer than necessary, and far longer than was good for the skit. But I stay tuned.

At this point the show brought on some rap artist, Jay-Z. He started his routine and I changed channels. I didn't tune back.

Apparently a lot of people tuned into the show to see White, as SNL had the best ratings it has had in a long time. No doubt some were like myself, old fans of SNL who hadn't watched the show in years. But what I saw last night confirmed that I hadn't been missing anything.

A comedy show relies upon a combination of acting talent and good writing. White has the personality that allows her to make use of good material. But the writers at SNL didn't give her good material. Betty White might be 88 years old but it was the writing at SNL that was old and tired. It just wasn't funny. I won't be bothering with that show again. And I hope the writers apologize to White for the garbage they wrote and then research and practice seppuku. If they did it live on Saturday it might be enough to get me to tune in again, at least until they pull out the next rap artist as their "music."

Here's a I'm-so-old joke for the writers of SNL: I'm so old I remember when Betty White was young and Saturday Night Live was funny.

Photo: Betty White taking care of the writing problem at SNL.

Life catches up.

Sometimes life catches up and one doesn't have time to blog. Ideas run through my head daily but finding a few minutes to sit down and write is harder to find. I had to work on a business proposal and it simply had to come first.

I can do two things at once I just can't write two things at once. But I did have some time to work and enjoy an old television. The other day I was out on errands and simply had to stop to use the restroom. So I knew of a large used bookstore that sells lots of DVDs and has decent public restrooms so I made a beeline for the place. As usual I couldn't resist looking around the DVDs to see what I could find.

For the first time I came across the complete set of DVDs for Sliders. Produce by Tracy Torme the show had something of a strong libertarian streak in it. The first two years explored politics more than later years. In fact, Fox broadcasting started telling Torme how to produce the show and it turned to crap. I can't think of a worse botch-up in television history than what Fox did to the show once the pencil-pushers started deciding how to write scripts. It got so bad that Torme, who created the series, walked out on it. A wise move actually considering how bad the series became.

While writing I went through abour 4 hours of the first season. The show tells with parallel universes where everything is the same but different. In the first episode the Soviets have control of the United States. I am looking forward to watching the first two seasons again and see some of the demise of the show in Series Three. If the last two are available, I don't know. Nor do I care.

Wow: that was a shocker.

I don't know if many of my readers are regular views of Dexter. All I can say is that this year's finale was a real shocker. Talk about plot! Talk about surprises.

I watched a bit of the second season and then got hooked and went back and watched season one. The story line is so unusual and raises some very interesting moral questions. Is Dexter a hero or a villain. There is some real ingenuity in the series.

All I can saw is that just as I started to relax from the drama the show took a turn that was totally unexpected and knocked the wind out of me.

While I'm getting bored with what is coming out on the big screen these days there is no shortage of good entertainment on television. And so much of it is on cable—but then cable doesn't have to placate Big Brother in Washington the way broadcast does. (Does anyone really buy the bullshit that the "airwaves" have to be government property due to scarcity anymore?)

If you haven't seen the last episode of Dexter then do so as fast as possible. Until then put your fingers in your ears, hum loudly to yourself, because a lot of people will be talking and you don't want this ending ruined.

In defense of television.

It was my intention, for sometime now, to post some comments in defense of modern television. But this blog tends to be a slave to the news. So Climategate got my attention, even though I preferred to look elsewhere.

One of the laments of cultural conservatives is that the popular culture is on some sort of perpetual downward trend. I suspect that they thought from the first day they couldn’t stone fornicators anymore.

Of course, by nature, a conservative is someone who inherently thinks the best is behind us; in the future they see only ruin. The natural state of the conservative is pessimism.

To the conservative mind change is inherently evil. And this applies pretty much across the board. It takes conservatives an entire generation to accept change, but only the change that already took place before they were born. The conservatives of yesteryear were adamantly opposed to the civil rights movement. The conservatives of today have their peace with it and wouldn’t think of changing it. But the conservative only makes peace with the change of the past, never the change of the present day.

And, of course, they apply this attitude to television as well. You will hear them lament to state of television. They will tell us how wonderful television used to be. And I confess having had such thoughts myself. But, what cured me of the idea that television was better in the past, was not the television of today, as much as rewatching the television of the past. It was awful.

This is not to say that every show of previous decades is inferior to every show of today. That is not the case. But, on a whole, previous generations of television were pathetic. I felt a twinge of sadness when Soupy Sales died, I felt a big twinge of sadness when I watched one of his old shows as well. It was awful.

There is a lot of talk about television dumbing people down. Just watch the old shows for examples. What is dumber than My Mother the Car? And if you want shows that appeal to the intellect, you won’t find many of them in the past. Even shows with some timelessness, such as The Honeymooners, or The Andy Griffith Show never dealt with issues of great importance or seriousness. Thinking was divisive and the old American networks didn’t want to court controversy. They played it safe and boring. Rob and Laura, or Lucy and Desi, may have had children by some miracle that went unstated, but they never shared the same bed. That was controversial.

In the wonderful film adaptation of Kurt Vonnegut’s Harrison Bergeron they show Harrison, in a world of complete equality, learning television programming. He is taught to keep everything to the lowest common denominator, least anyone be offended. A clever line could only be clever enough to entertain the dullards on their couches so that all would enjoy it equally.

The clips of “approved” television shows you see in Harrison Bergeron are eerily like what you might expect from the 1950s or 1960s. (You can currently watch this excellent film here.)

Yes, today’s shows stir up controversy. But what is controversy? Something is controversial when it challenges what people accept. Controversy challenges the status quo. It stimulates debate and new thinking. It encourages contemplation and argumentation. It leads to new ideas.

But again conservatism tends to fear new ideas because new ideas lead to change. Hayek wrote: “Conservatives feel instinctively that it is new ideas more than anything that cause change.” But, to cling to old ideas means no stimulation of the mind. It leads to mindless entertainment.

This is not to say that every show today stimulates thinking. They do not. There are some that are so mind-numbing that even the most fearful conservative can could enjoy it. But there are others, which you couldn’t have seen 30 or 40 years ago.

Consider the crime show Bones. FBI agent Seely Booth is no intellectual. Yet the team of forensic anthropologists he has to work with are highly intelligent. Booth calls them “squints,” partially out of being intimidated by their intellects.

His counterpart is Dr. Temperance Brennan. Brennan is Spock on steroids, a confirmed rationalist who uses historical analysis and science to inspire her views on most of life. This contrast inspires much of the dialogue between the two main characters. Booth and Brennan regularly disagree about sexual morality, the existence of a deity and such matters. It is the only show I know of where the main character is an open atheist who defends her position. What is fascinating is that this is one of the top-rated show on Fox.

Current television isn’t better simply because it has higher production values—though it clearly does. Just compare the production qualities of a show like Torchwood to one like Lost in Space or even the original Star Trek series. Scripts are also better. Dialogue is more interesting. Characters have more dimension and complexity. Real moral dilemmas are tackled, not the rather lame issues that the shows of the past used to discuss

The film Pleasantville captures a great deal of what I mean. Brother and sister characters, David (Toby Maguire) and Jennifer (Reese Witherspoon) mysteriously are transported from the life they lead into the reruns of an old black and white sitcom called Pleasantville, a Leave-It-To-Beaver kind of place. And nothing controversial happens in Pleasantville. Life revolves around exciting things like a cat stuck in a tree. The world is black and white; there is no change. There are no new ideas; even the books have blank pages. It is a conservative utopia.

The two time migrants turn the entire world of Pleasantville upside-down. The sameness disappears, individualism emerges, conflicts appear and the town is plunged into debate. Passions arise, abilities develop, people purse their own happiness. People begin to think, to actually think. Real drama emerges.

Modern television had done something similar. It didn’t just move from black and white to color. It moved from a dull sameness to one of abundant choice, where issues are dramatized and thus debated. From a purely entertainment perspective things have improved vastly. But from an intellectual perspective the changes have been even more profound. And I think it should be applauded.

Facts: Here are some facts showing how television has evolved and how various issues are debated openly which previously had been hidden from view.

The first show focusing on the moral conflict of abortion was Maude in 1972. The first use of the word condom was in a 1987 episode of The Hogan Family. The first made-for-television film about a gay character was That Certain Summer in 1972 while the first recurring gay character on a televison show Jodie Dallas (Billy Crystal) in Soap, 1977.

We are coming.

I confess, I love this show. No, it has nothing to do with politics, or at least very little. But for the pure entertainment value of it, I love it. I got hooked on Torchwood in the UK. I was on an extended visit with CL reader and political trouble-maker, Rebecca. She hs a serious scifi addiction. Well, it's her TV and she turned on Torchwood. Within the first two minutes I was on my laptop looking up information regarding the series and the stars (I'm compulsive that way, anything that strikes my interest always requires further research).

I was so hooked on the show we arranged to hook Rebecca's cable to the internet so that I could access when on in Europe (that is non-English Europe). I was back for another long visit about half a year later and bought all the first season on DVD, even at the rob-them-blind prices that the BBC charges in the UK for their material, which is quite unfair since the poor Brits have to fund the outfit with taxes to begin with. I watched Season Two on BBC America on cable and then bought it on DVD. And I've been anxiously waiting for Season Three, even if the ending of Season Two pissed me off due to plot development.

They have done some absolutely chilling material and some amazingly moving scenes as well. And there is some rather witty humor involved as well. The drama is good, the acting superb and the casting is perfect. They really go all out for this series. It is far better than Dr. Who, from which this is basically a spin-off. Since I'm on the topic of television I'll list a few shows that I will watch and do enjoy. I don't watch that many and even some of these I'll watch if its one otherwise I can go without.

1. Torchwood, described above.

2. Desperate Housewives. I love the humor in this show and enjoy the plots. It was so roundly condemned by fundamentalists that I assumed it had to be worth watching. I enjoy it.

3. Ugly Betty. When Rebecca and I had our Junk Food Fridays we would sit in front of the TV and indulge in Ugly Betty. It's fun. It's not serious drama, it doesn't have compelling story lines but it's fun and fun is good.

4. The United States of Tara. Toni Collette is brillant playing the multiple personalities of the main character: Tara. I first saw Collette in the 1994 Australian film, Muriel's Wedding. Two years later she was in the wonderful film Cosi. Both of these films are in my collection of videos. I next saw her in About a Boy, which is fine, but not spectacular, in my view. And then she played the mother in The Night Listener. I have the film, mainly because Terry Anderson, who wrote the screenplay was someone I knew. He and Armistead Maupin, who lived around the corner from me, worked on it together. But it was really this television series that showed me how good an actress she is. I enjoy this story on several levels but in the end it all rests on Collette's ability to act in five different roles.

5. Big Love. I confess I've only seen series three but I was impressed. First, the story is far more faithful to truth than most people realize. It basically depicts the polygamous break-away branch of Mormons known as the Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. What impressed me was that the writers really did their homework. One of the main writers is Dustin Black, who was himself raised a Mormon but has since been cured. Black also wrote the screenplay for the excellent film Milk.